MY xmas

Christmas 2005,

This has been the strangest xmas ever,

In September I had my incapacity benefit taken of me (one of the reasons being that I had tried to get myself back into the way of doing things by taking on a gcse English course and I got a B so the fucking doctor used that as a reason to take my money away “that fuckin cunt”)

Shortly after this, my computer just broke and I was not in a position to fix it (no money). I had used it for everything, all my music was on my computer and music is very important to me.


A few other personal problems had occurred (but I cannot mention them because they involve other people who do not want anyone to know).

Then to top it all off, at the start of December I had to get my mother put into Hollywell (hospital) after she had a breakdown and phoned me one day to tell me she had taken an overdose and that me and my sister would be better off without her. I had to then go home and sort out her house and bills and look after a thirteen year old girl (my sister).

I had initially thought that my mother would be out before xmas but this didn’t happen.

The only help I had was a friend of my mothers; eventually I called my brother in England and told him about the situation (I did not tell him before as I did not think he would be much help). He told me that he would come home a week earlier to give me some support (he is currently studying to be an avangelist).

So he came home, instead of planning around me and my sister he got himself a load of work so he could make himself some money, so he would not be able to help me out too much, he did tell me that he would only be working up until xmas and that after that he would be around more.



I was told that my mum would be out on xmas eve until boxing day, she came home and was not fit to leave the house (she was clearly in no state to be at home).
But despite all this I got on with xmas as much as I could making sure my sister had plenty of nice thing to open on xmas day and cooking xmas dinner for the “family”.

My brother however was busy sorting himself out, and he got my sister a fuckin junior bible for xmas (stupid brainwashing hypocritical wanker).

Then xmas day came and went, I had arranged to meet up with some friends and for my brother to come over at 9pm to look after Catherine and my mum, while I was waiting for my lift I called Martin (my brother) at 9,30 pm to ask him why he wasn’t at the house, he made an excuse and told me he would be there in 15 mins. I took him at his word and went on out when my lift came.

He didn’t get there until 10pm so my sister had been left alone with my mother (who was totally out of her tree) because my Born Again Christian Brother felt he should put himself first and that was that.

He also told me (despite his promise of more help after xmas day) that he would look after my sister on new years eve and that that was all he was doing.


I would like to point out that he felt he should put his study (to become an evangelist, spreading Gods word) ahead of his family at this time of crisis.
I don’t pray or go to church and I don’t believe in a Christian god but I have morals and I try to live by them.

When I phoned my brother yesterday, he told me “you haven’t worked for years, I’ve paid a lot of money to do this course” and “the responsibility will do you good”.


I could go on about this but I won’t

My conclusion is, anyone can call themselves a Christian (I means fuck all).

People should be judged on the strengths of there actions and nothing else…

If any of you Christian types, who think you must be born again to enter heaven and like to go around telling others how to live are reading this (and i am not talking about good christian people who just live the way they choose, i respect good people full stop) i would just like to say

" if ther is a heaven and hell and you spend your time condeming other people (like the anti gay marriage lobyists for example) you will end up in hell yourselves, i am sure of it"


And as far as my xmas goes, I can stand up any say i've tried my best with little help along the way, my sister liked her pressents and knows that i love her and will always be there for her and that is as good as the situation could have turned out, I DID MY BEST!

Happy xmas and good luck in 2006 to all....